Obama, Congress and a rogues gallery of political activists are beating the war drums for immigration reform. It is really nothing more than hitting the fail button and resetting for another wave of illegals. Grant the illegals here amnesty, make empty promises about how the future will be different from the past. Its like the moron’s version of Groundhog Day. The same dumb scrapple recycled over again. I have an immigration reform plan. They’d never go for it. Its pork, martyr and exploitation free and Washington DC politicians cannot survive without those vital nutrients.

The Cliff Notes

Here is a brief summary, the speed dating version of this post:

Do I have your attention? If so, continue reading.

First, lets cut the bullshit

Like every political hot potato, the immigration debate is chock full o’ bullshit. Redefinitions, flowery language, fluff and circumstance. To truly fix a problem it must be well defined. Defining a problem requires removing the superfluous crap. So lets pressure wash the problem a little:

People currently living in the United States without proper entry granted through legit border entry points are Illegal Aliens. Period. Their illegal entry is a violation of our laws. Border laws are accepted practice globally and illegal border crossing is really not tolerated anywhere. America should not feel guilty or ashamed to enforce its laws. The Illegal Aliens  here are here illegally and they are breaking the law. They are lovable and valuable by in large but they have still broken our laws. No fancy redefinitions, no softened language. It is what it is, a violation of U.S. law.

True immigration reform will never happen because the Illegal Aliens are valuable commodities to both sides of the political power struggle in Washington DC. The result of the political tug-of-war is that the problem never really gets fixed. The two sides just jockey for a way to maximize the benefit of the problem to them.

The Republicans  and their donor supporter base values the Illegal Aliens as a cheap labor pool. Reduce business/labor costs, increase profits.

The Democrats want to turn all of the Illegal Aliens into rank and file union members, voters and citizens once they get here. They want to bolster their voter base.

There is a sub-economy of predatory business activities preying upon the Illegal Alien community. Financial organizations like banks and money wire companies prey upon the Illegals trying to get money home to their families at high percentage rates. Landlords take advantage of Illegal Aliens because they know they will not go to the authorities. Same goes for the criminal organizations that deal in drugs, trafficking of people across the border, kidnapping, forced prostitution, theft, etc.

If you take a step back and look at the situation you can see that Immigration is never truly fixed because there is too much to benefit from the problem. Too much money to be made.

Establishment, I double-dog dare you to do this

I’m going to describe how I think the Immigration Reform issue could be fixed once and for all. I’m putting it here online so I don’t have to think about it anymore. The powers that be will never do it because it tears down all of the opportunities to take advantage of these people from Mexico. Yes, I referred to them as people from Mexico because first and foremost they are human beings. Yes they are Illegal Aliens by legal definition but they are people first and in most cases they are hard-working, good hearted people that just want to work hard and provide a better life for their families that are usually back in Mexico while they are here working their asses off. That is something that should be admired, not vilified.

My plan will do the following:

1. Remove a large part of the existing illegal population from the United States
   (and allow them right back in legally..)
2. Sharply reduce illegal cross border activity to only the most serious illegal activities
3. Protect the humanity and safety of the Mexicans coming here to work
4. Decimate the criminal and predatory businesses/activities that prey upon Illegal Aliens today
5. Allow them to live out in the open, legally so they can buy, sell, rent, interact with law enforcement/govt without fear of arrest or abuse
6. Take away the political pawn value from the Right and Left.

Tall order right? Not really, it is pretty simple.

Establish a legitimate Migrant Guest Worker status

They want to be migrant workers, lets label them as such. Create a US Government issued biometric ID card with legal status, similar to a Green Card, that allows the card holder to move freely across the border through legitimate border crossings. Configure the Guest Worker status to allow a six to nine month stay, any contiguous six to nine months, in the US with the ability to come and go for reasons like holidays, family issues, etc.

As a part of the Guest Worker status comes employment laws. A minimum wage below the standard US minimum wage but not much below. Set it so they can make a living and more importantly so they cannot be abused by big business interests. If they are legally here then they have rights and that includes a set minimum wage. $4/hour? $5/hour? Economists can argue that. That makes it attractive to big business/big agro but keeps them from being abused by those same entities by paying sweat shop or near indentured servant pay levels. Set a mandatory tax withholding for the services they may draw while in the country. Set those withholdings at a lower rate with little to no Social Security withholding. They won’t be on a path to citizenship so they won’t draw Social Security. No reason to make them pay for it. If they apply for citizenship and are granted then they can pay into Social Security.

Wouldn’t it be nice to actually know who is here in our country? To be able to allow decent people entry and keep out the criminal elements?

Seal the borders tight and tell them all to go home

It all sounded too good right? Now I have exposed myself as a bigot, right? Wrong. Seal the borders so no illegal activity can cross the borders. Instead of amnesty, tell everyone to go back across the border and get the Migrant Guest Worker card. Anyone who goes back willingly will get a card within a week or two of going back. If we can give $8 Trillion Dollars to Wall Street banks in a week we can sign-up, review and create ID cards for a few million workers in one to two weeks. Anyone who does not go back and is ever caught will be deported and never allowed to return for any reason. No amnesty, no Guest Worker card, nothing. No exceptions.

With a legitimate guest worker ID card program and the ability for these people to enter through the front door the only movement across our southern border will be illegal. Our Border Patrol and Homeland Security assets will be able to focus on illegal activity because that is all that there will be on the border. Not migrant workers anymore. Just drugs or more serious threats coming across the border. The ratio for the Border Patrol is so much better. Instead of drugs, terrorism or other serious threats hiding amongst many migrant crossings the real bad guys won’t be able to benefit from the numbers of migrants and the obscurity provided by their movements.

No more coyotes victimizing people. No high speed chases where people die while the coyote tries to evade the authorities. No deaths from hot desert treks or being unsafely packed into smuggling vehicles.

I believe if people were told that if they left voluntarily that they would be given legal ability to work and no longer deal with the pains of illegal existence a large percentage would leave and return.

Full Disclosure: I really like Mexico, Mexicans and Mexican culture

I have spent time in Mexico, far down in Mexico. I’ve enjoyed meals in private homes in small towns. I’ve watched a horse drawn carriage parade a girl around the Zócalo of her town on the way to the church for her Quinceañera. I have hung out with the Mexican Marines that took down part of the Arellano Félix cartel. Even the Mexican Marines in the Presidential Detail in Distrito Federal. I have spoken to several people who sneak into the United States from Mexico to work and go though all sorts of headache trying to communicate with family back home. Sending money back home can be an expensive deal. If they have medical issues or wish to see their family they have to weigh the agony of having to sneak back into the United States via a dangerous desert trek or paying a coyote. All of this can be avoided.

Implement a program like this where these people cannot be politically, financially or criminally exploited.

This is a situation where Mexicans and Americans can both win and the political machinery of the Republicans and Democrats can both lose a little. That is a win-win if I have ever seen one.